Sunday Night Incoherence
Life has driven me to bourbon sours. I was dating two guys when I left New York. Since I left the city, one of them bagged a skank with leopard-print cowboy boots, and the other just caught an STD from whoring around.
Men disgust me - I'm never, ever dating again. In fact, I don't think I'll ever touch a man without rubber gloves. I'm just going to sit alone in my apartment and watch old episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Bourbon Sour:
Three shots of limeade
One (or two) shots of bourbon
Mix with ice in a cocktail shaker. Goes well with complete revulsion.
Men disgust me - I'm never, ever dating again. In fact, I don't think I'll ever touch a man without rubber gloves. I'm just going to sit alone in my apartment and watch old episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Bourbon Sour:
Three shots of limeade
One (or two) shots of bourbon
Mix with ice in a cocktail shaker. Goes well with complete revulsion.
posted by La Blonde Parisienne at 11:54 PM
9 Comments:
Oh man.
What STD?
Oh boy. Poor LaBlonde.
I'll just say this: you might want to pick up some stock in Valtrex.
Sister, I have to say whenever mom or Aaron points me to your blog I see nothing but a gigantic half-empty glass of pessimism with a twist of curmudgeon. Perhaps turn to my analysis.
What I see is a karmic ladder of shame. You dated 2 guys at once netting you some negative karma. In response, they cheated on you, and in response to that....one got at an STD and the other.....boned a girl in leopard-print cowboy boots? Punishment enough, I say. All karmic debts paid.
As a fellow Satkoski-gene holder, i'm confident you can find a guy who appreciates MST3K and compulsive drinking as much as you. Keep up the good fight and know your brothers have your back.
-Chris
Look, sister, Chris's fantastically accurate answer pretty much says it all. I especially like the part about the karmic shame ladder.
This reminds me of a person who hits themselves in the head with a hammer, only to feel REALLY good when they stop hitting themselves. I say, Jessica, stop hitting yourself with the hammer. It's time to start feeling good.
Also, maybe just try to NOT date assholes, I know it sounds crazy, but give it a try.
Points taken. However, I feel the need to clarify some points:
1. On dating two guys at once: neither of these were serious relationships. They now both know that I was seeing the other, and were Ok with it. I wouldn't think that would accumulate me any negative karma, since everybody knew what was going on.
2. When I left for California in May, all previous relationships were considered null and void. Both of these things happened after I left, and therefore, cannot be construed as 'cheating'.
My take on these events is that these are the normal misadventures of guys left to their own devices. The reason I was so repulsed was because these are just average guys. Now, whenever I date someone new, I will have to assume that they have some sort of similar, equally disgusting, sexual misadventure in their past
i am raising my glass to your revulsion, la blonde. i've taken to just drinking the bourbon straight.
It's hard not to date assholes when 95% of them are assholes 96% of the time.
First of several comments to your posts:
Yes, they do. Some learn their lessons (like my husband and Dr. Hussy's) but some just need to be kicked!
Enjoy your sullen-ness.
Post a Comment
<< Home