Fergie sets women back a gajillion years

I've discussed Fergie (formerly of the Black Eyed Peas) and her craptastic music before. Of course, as a colleague of mine once noted, "yeah, it sucks, but sucking isn't illegal". Fergie's new video, however, busts through the wall of merely sucking like a breached scuba tank, and lodges firmly into "fucking offensive". I caught it at the gym the other day. In it, she not only does the required amount of scantily-clad writhing, but also hits the Lolita-Girl Scout-two chicks fighting trifecta. And that's before she rubs frosting all over herself.

You might ask, and you would be right in doing so, "what's the difference between Fergie poncing around in a girl scout uniform and a pre-Federline Brittney Spears in her naughty schoolgirl outfit? I didn't see you bitching about that. Obviously, you love the objectification of children. All those quizzes are right - you are evil."

Ok, on the surface, there's no difference. They're both women playing into a dismayingly common male fantasy*. But here's the thing: Brittney was about 17 years old when her video was made, possibly didn't see the problem, and probably didn't have a whole lot of creative control anyway. Fergie is (according to IMDB.com) 31 years old. Shouldn't she know better? I don't care how much money you're making - you're goddamned right she should. Although, according to the song, she's "not promiscuous", I think I'd respect her a lot more if she'd merely stayed home and had lots of anonymous sex. Then, at least, the women of America wouldn't have to waste their time patiently explaining why being expected to dress up like a child is actually really, really creepy. Maybe there's something to Twisty's "every act by an opressed group is a political act" after all...

Anyway, for your edification, or if you just want to tell me how oversensitive and full of crap I am (I know my brothers both have a lot of time on their hands right now), I've embedded the video below.




*Note for all my IRL friends: Jesus save me from the ridiculousness that is straight men who watch too much porn. This is why I don't date Americans.

Quizzes also = lazy blogging

I've got some stuff going on here in CA (not bad, just keeping me busy). In the meantime, head over to Dr. BH's and listen to me tear into some Poison.

Yes! Just as I always suspected!

Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.

Via lots of places.

Oh, OK Cupid, You Know Me So Well!

For the record, my interns talked me into attending ComicCon. I'm just sayin'.

A geek is also someone who bites the heads off chickens...

Outcast Genius 91 % Nerd, 60% Geek, 56% Dork

For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in all three, earning you the title of: Outcast Genius. Outcast geniuses usually are bright enough to understand what society wants of them, and they just don't care! They are highly intelligent and passionate about the things they know are *truly* important in the world. Typically, this does not include sports, cars or make-up, but it can on occassion (and if it does then they know more than all of their friends combined in that subject). Outcast geniuses can be very lonely, due to their being outcast from most normal groups and too smart for the room among many other types of dorks and geeks, but they can also be the types to eventually rule the world, ala Bill Gates, the prototypical Outcast Genius. Congratulations! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Professional Wrestling Love & Sexuality America/Politics Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on nerdiness You scored higher than 99% on geekosity You scored higher than 99% on dork points

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Maybe All Those Quizzes are Right...

Last night, I came home to find that my kitchen sink had become a bustling ant metropolis. Ants! In December! What the fuck? And it's not like my kitchen is disgusting - there were a few dishes, maybe my cocktail shaker, but they were full of water. Anybody who knows me IRL is well aware of my anti-dirty dish policies. One panicked call to Mom LaBlonde later, I head out to pick up some ant traps. I litter my sink with those bastards (not having children or pets has its benefits), and sit back to watch the destruction. Thirty seconds later, they're eating the bait, and I'm giggling to myself: "Yes, my pretty little ones.. feast. Feast on DEATH!"

Yikes.

Christmas Comes Early.

You can thank me later.

Another Quiz Tells Me I'm Scary and Dark. Sigh.

Via the always-seductive Nimuë

I'm A Who In The What Now?

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 15% Conservative, 85% Liberal

Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

Via Stranger Fruit.

Overheard in California College Town

Two pre-teen brothers in line at the Subway restaurant:

[Brother One] My French teacher told us that they French hate root beer. It's not even a stereotype or anything. They think it tastes like mouthwash.

[Brother Two] Wow, mouthwash in France must be really delicious.

For All You Guys Out There

The song "Baby Love" by MC Solaar is the best slow jam in the universe. A total panty-dropper. Trust me on this one.