Needless To Say, Basketball Is Out Too

Intern: Do you know how to throw a football?
Me: They tried to teach me once.
Intern: Do you remember how?
Me: Not really. I keep memories of gym class where most people keep memories of sexual abuse.

What The Hell, California?

I had to use a credit card to scrape ice off the windshield of my car this morning. That's right - ice. (In the interest of full disclosure, it was a Safeway discount card, and BF did the actual, physical scraping.) That doesn't change the fact, though, that it's really DAMN cold here. When I moved here, everybody was all, like "Oh, it rains all winter, but it never gets below 55 degrees." Bull. Shit. I can only conclude that the state of California hates me, and is trying to get me to leave. If only I could, California... if only I could.

Turn Your Back On My Shame!

I played World of Warcraft last night. And...


it was actually pretty fun.

I don't believe that it was unrelated to the fact that one of my interns brought in a calendar for his desk featuring a night elf in a princess leia-style gold bikini. (I allowed it because, hey - at least it doesn't have pictures of cats on it LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE LAB.) So I've really been the victim of an insidious campaign of WoW brainwashing.

I was a female Draenei preist, but I also played a female Blood Elf paladin. Then I got totally slaughtered.


I'm so ashamed, which means I'll most likely do it again.

Dude, Snowboarding is HARD

...just a quick post, because the UC ethics quiz I was just forced to take really rammed home the point about personal work on university time.

The BF and I (of course there's a BF; you think I've been working all this time?) went up to the mountains this weekend to do a little snowboarding. Well, he did a little snowboarding - I mostly slid down the mountain on my ass. Please remember - I grew up in INDIANA. If you need something milked or shoveled, I'm your girl, but it's a little short on things like, oh, MOUNTAINS. I did get a feel for snowboarding eventually, after about five runs, and BF and I even did the last run together, albeit through a red haze of pain.

I was going to take pictures of me in all my snowboarding glory, but we never got around to it. BF said I looked totally cute, so you'll just have to imagine it. On the other hand, I WAS tempted to post a picture of my ass. Seriously. It's BROKEN. There's nothing remotely prurient about it - it's totally medical looking, like an illustration in a textbook about what not to do to your ass.

...I'm sure blogger has rules or something about not posting pictures of your butt, regardless of how gruesome they are. Lucky you.

I Just Got Back From San Diego

...and boy are my arms tired. How could I not share some Quiz results?

As seen at The Third Estate

You scored as Miyamoto Musashi. You're considered a sword saint, whatever the fuck that is. You don't give two hoots what weapon or tact people come at you with, as your solution is a steady grip on a sharp blade and it tends to work. You're never going to be defeated in battle, but you are going to die of Cancer. Miyamoto Musashi 100% Jesus Christ 100% Friedrich Nietzsche 100% C.G. Jung 83% Adolf Hitler 75% Stephen Hawking 67% Elvis Presley 58% Sigmund Freud 50% O.J. Simpson 42% Mother Teresa 42% Dante Alighieri 33% Charles Manson 33% Steven Morrissey 33% Hugh Hefner 0% What Pseudo Historical Figure Best Suits You? created with QuizFarm.com

It's Like They Know My Innermost Desires

Morrissey may represent Britain in the Eurovision Song Contest.

Sometimes, the universe just smiles, you know?

A Quick Post, Because I'm Still Alive

Happy 2007 to all my loyal readers. I completely abandoned all blogging over the holidays, both here and at my second blog home, The Bear Republic Action Group, because I was in America's heartland. Here's a quick list to keep you up-to-date with the comings and goings of the last month:

1. Christmas was spent with the vivacious Dr. Brazen and the slightly less vivacious but still quite pleasant Mr. Brazen. We watched Revenge of the Nerds (1 AND 2) and drank martinis and ate cake. It was like a little slice of heaven.

2. I was planning on re-visiting NYC after the new year, but had to cancel my trip due to an emergency at work. I miss all my city friends so much, and I was really disappointed, because I don't know when I'll be able to go back.

3. I returned to California college town, where it's cold as BALLS. I feel totally lied to.

4. Found that in my lab, a specific directive not to touch a piece of equipment actually translates to: "Please touch this equipment, which you don't know how to use and probably don't even understand what it is that it measures. That would make me very happy. Ecstatic, really."