My goodness, that's a long meme

So it's Sunday, it's raining and cold outside, and I just ate fried eggs and cake for breakfast. Rather than doing any actual work, I thought that I would use Dr. Brazen Hussy's world's longest meme to distract myself from all that's so goddamn wrong with the world.

Layer One
Name: LBP
Birthdate: 1977. That's right, kiddies, the long, bloody march to 30 is almost over, and not a minute too soon.
Birthplace: The Hoosier state.
Current location: 10003
Eye colour: Brown
Righty or lefty: Righty
Sign: Archetypal Virgo, not that I believe any of that stuff...
Innie or outie: Innie, possibly the only competent medical decision made upon my birth.
Layer Two
Heritage: Polish-WASP. Sometimes I wonder how I live with myself, then I feel guilty about it.
Shoes you wore today: Trainers. The Pradas don't invade my weekend.
Your hair: Blonde-ish, so it's not just a clever name.
Your weakness: 80's power balads
Your fears: Pain
Your perfect pizza: Green olive, mushroom, and sausage.
Layer Three
Your most overused phrase: "Oh, for fuck's sake".
Your first waking thoughts: "I have to do this again??"
The first features you notice in opposite sex (or same sex, whatever...): Hair. Yeah, go ahead and laugh, but appreciate a great head of hair. It totally explains my otherwise schizophrenic taste in men.
Your best physical feature: Very long legs. A good thing, too, 'cause the tits and ass ain't nothin'.
Your bedtime: Whenever I turn off my computer.
Your greatest accomplishment: Ummm.. does getting out of bed every morning count?
Layer Four
Pepsi or Coke: Diet Mountain Dew. Preferably administered via IV.
Single or group dates: Dates?
Adidas or Nike: Darling, to whom do you think you're talking?
Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla.
Coffee or cappuccino: Espresso. With a vodka chaser. Repeat.
Layer Five
Smoke: Oh, in college when I thought it would make me look older. Then I realized that it actually did.
Cuss: Like a drunken sailor.
Sing: Not for you!
Take a shower everyday: Sometimes two. Hygene is paramount.
Have a crush: Not at the moment.
Been in love: Unfortunately.
Want to get married: Not really, but I can't exclude the possibility that some day I might just get really drunk.
Believe in yourself: No, but I've been trying to will myself into nonexistence for years now.
Type with the right fingers on the right keys: Certainly.
Think you're attractive: Ugh. Sometimes, and never on the days that the sleazy guys on the street think I'm at my best.
Think you're a health freak: Yes.
Get along with your parents: Absolutely. I have wonderful, unusual parents.
Play an instrument: Used to play piano, oboe, flute, sang... these days I stick to the skinflute. Best to know where your talents lie.
Layer Six
In the past month did you...?
Drink alcohol: Yes.
Smoke: No.
Do a drug: Yes.
Make out: Does anyone over the age of 21 really 'make out'?.
Go on a date: Yeah, I guess that's what it was.
Eat an entire box of oreos: No, but only because if I'm going to splurge, it won't be on goddamn Oreos. Hence, the giant piece of walnut carmel gateau I just shoved in my cakehole.
Eat sushi: Just last night, at Blue Water Grill. Delicious- I highly recommend the lobster tempura roll
Been on stage: Darling, my entire life is theater.
Been dumped: I don't want to talk about it.
Gone skating: No.
Gone skinny dipping: No.
Made homemade cookies: Ha! Ha ha...um, no.
Fallen in love: See "been dumped".
Stolen anything: No
Dyed your hair: Shockingly, no. I let my hair grow out for the first time in years and discovered that my real color was exactly the same as what I'd been dying it all these years. Does that count as irony? It should, because it was really expensive.
Layer Seven:
Have you ever...?
Played a game that required you to remove an item of clothing: Yes
Been trashed: Yes
Been intoxicated: Yes
Been caught doing something: Like what? I refuse to answer on the basis that this is a stupid question.
Been called a tease: No, which, on second examination, might be part of my problem.
Shoplifted: As a very young child I threw a pack of cigarettes into the grocery cart. Also, in college, I walked out of Wal Mart with some mascara in my hand because I forgot to put it back. Have never knowingly shoplifted, though.
Layer Eight
Age you hope to be married: I had a hard enough time getting out of it the first time.
Number and names of kids: N/A.
Describe your dream wedding: One that doesn't happen.
How do you want to die: Before I get old.
What would you like to be when you grow up: Hope never to grow up.
What countries would you most like to visit: I'll go anywhere, given 10-minute notice.
Layer Nine
Number of wo/men kissed: Some. Don't really remember.
Number of girl/boyfriends had: I side with Dr. BH on this one. Define 'boyfriend'.
Number of drugs taken: Some. Once again, don't really remember.
Number of people I could trust with my life: On some days, I don't even trust myself.
Number of piercings: Five.
Number of CDs: Gave away all my CD's when I got my first iPod
Number of tattoos: None, but have thought about getting one lately.
Number of scars: I have a lambda-shaped scar on my knee from where I tripped over a chair last summer. Or something.. it's definitely not the brand of the illuminati. Ahem.
Number of regrets: A few, but then again, too few to mention.