All the news you can use

Well, kiddies, I'm going on an ill-deserved vacation, so you're going to have to find another source for ineffectual political ranting and eerily masturbatory celeb gossip.

In the meantime..

Answers In Genesis responds to an evolution-themed Doonesbury strip.

Also...

McSweeney's introduces the The iPod Zepto

And finally...

Justifiably Dead You managed 81% Humanity.

In a fair world, you might have stood a chance. Wait, no, that's wrong. In a fair world, you'd never have been so incredibly annoying even on those few occasions. But it's not important, as my world will in no way be a fair world. Although don't worry too much about it, as you won't be there. You'll be all dead, where you can't cause any trouble. Although knowing you your corpse will probably trip someone up or block a doorway.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Humanity

Link: The Are You Good Enough To Exist Test written by botherer on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test