A Happy New Year, Indeed

For your new year's edification, here's an illegally downloaded picture of Bam Margera.


Oh yeah, that's good.

For those of you who don't have teenage brothers, Bam's a former Jackass-er who's got a show on MTV. FYI, a google search on this kid's name returned 981,000 hits.

Unfortunately, a google search on "Bam Margera" "Villi Valo" and "Three-Way with LBP" returned no hits.

...but the night is young.

She's skanktastic!

No, Keanu, nooooooooo!

What LaBlonde is...

Reading
Sarah: A Novel by J.T. LeRoy.

Watching
Farewell My Concubine.

Listening to
Overse Komponiste by Klaus Nomi.

Obsessed with
The Queen Mary 2, upon which LaBlonde will be celebrating the New Year!

Overheard

... at the Drinking Liberally Manhattan holiday party.

"Is that Joe Pesci?"
"No, you douchebag, it's Joe Piscopo."
"Huh. He looks terrible."


"Are you a socialist?"
"How did you know?"
"Your tie. It screams socialist."
"Yeah, the stripes are kind of narrow."


"What do you do?"
"I'm a teacher."
"A piece of advice, dude: never date your students."
"I teach third grade. At a private boy's school."
"See? I'm a wise man."


"Why did you get into politics?"
"I'm an asshole. You?"
"I like ass-f**cking people. Thought I could do it professionally."

Thanks, I don't think I will

Don't Date Him, Girl offers a handy, searchable database of men known to lie, cheat, and/or give you STDs. No registration necessary (though you'll need to register before you post).

Need a more complete listing of horrible, soulless men who will break your heart without compunction, or indeed, even a second thought?

Try this.

This is no surprise to anyone...

No, not that I'm andrygynous (I prefer to think that the look is "young David Bowie", but, eh, who's fooling whom?), but that the picture is one of beautiful, beautiful Keanu Reeves, who is welcome to comment on my blog anytime. "Comment on my blog"... 'cause that's what the kids are calling 'blowing a load on your chest' these days.

via feministe

Androgynous You scored 56 masculinity and 66 femininity!

You scored high on both masculinity and femininity. You have a strong personality exhibiting characteristics of both traditional sex roles.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 30% on masculinity You scored higher than 69% on femininity

Link: The Bem Sex Role Inventory Test written by weirdscience on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

A couple of meth-heads ruin it for everyone

From the 'news you can use' column, NyQuil has taken the psuedoephedrine out of its formula (because it was used to make crystal meth) and replaced it with the official decongestant of pussies, doxylamine succinate.

I loved NyQuil, for whenever I had the sniffles, or the flu, or just needed that sweet, sweet (but easily obtanable at Duane Reade) opiate kiss of what I like to call "the other green fairy".

The Fortress of Solitude has the full story, including non-NyQuil cold remedies in the comments (via The Consumerist)

Luckily, you can still get your pseudoephedrine from Tylenol cold-n-flu, or evidently, from your neighborhood meth dealer. I haven't tested new NyQuil's ability to chill my shit out, but rest assured that I will post all barely-legal drug news as the story develops...

The man has a point

...a recent conversation with a certain foreign gentleman I know, here called "Pedro"

Pedro: "Are your grandparents very traditional?"

Me: "Very. My grandfather doesn't think women should know how to read."

Pedro: "Well, maybe he's right. You know how to read and all you do is cavort with foreigners."


In totally unrelated news (hi, mom!)I suggest reading this article on the female orgasm, demonstrating that you don't have to be a fundamentalist Christian to get evolution horribly, horribly wrong. Like I tell all my gentlemen friends: just because it's biologically unimportant doesn't make it spiritual, dear.

A happy Saturnalia to all, and to all a good night!

I very much enjoyed Adam Cohen's discussion of the origins of Christmas in America for the NYT.

And how will LaBlonde be celebrating Saturnalia '05? I take my suggestions from Seneca the younger, who suggested:

It is now the month of December, when the greatest part of the city is in a bustle. ...whether we should eve in our usual way, or, to avoid singularity, both take a better supper and throw off the toga.

(Thanks to Wikipedia)

I'm going to assume that "throw off the toga" was a euphamism for "have an orgy with a male-to-ungulate ratio of no less than 2:1", because in ancient Rome, really, what wasn't? I only hope that the Manhattan Home Depot has enough tarps and industrial lubricant in stock for my Christmas- oops, excuse me- holiday party.