Have you ever noticed

...how vending machines don't take nickels any more? Not taking pennies - that I understand. You need to protect yourself against the legions of homeless assholes* who would sit and pump your machine full of their low-value currency. But nickles? Even the middle class, America's heart and soul, have nickles, and occasionally want to spend them in a vending machine! Why did the US treasury go to all the trouble of cranking out those special commemorative nickels with pictures of native americans and, um... trees and shit** if I can't trade it in for a cool, frosty diet coke? For shame, vending maching makers of America. Why do you hate freedom?


* Just for the record, I do not actually think that the homeless are assholes.

** I actually have a nickel sitting in front of me right this very second that has two pine trees next to some water and says "Ocean in view! O! The joy!". I shit you not. I suspect that this was the result of the Treasury Department's last party with the ATF.


UPDATE:By harnessing the power of the internets, I was able to find a campus vending machine that took nickels. AND they had Mr. Pibb, which is awesome. Also, they had an ice cream vending machine that had Choco Tacos. Have I ever mentioned that in college I briefly dated the heir to the Choco Taco fortune? Because I did.