LaBlonde's Weekend TV Recap
With the untimely death of my laptop, I've been forced to more traditional methods of entertaining myself. Basically, I spent all day Sunday rotting in front of the TV. Even with my crappy cable, I was in complete boob-tube nirvana for about 8 hours.
CSPAN: Even before my cable situation turned to shite, I loved me some CSPAN. This weekend was mainly reruns of the Bolton confirmation hearings, and they were riveting. My favorite part was when the distinguished Sen. John Kerry was doing the questioning, and he was all, like, "how are you gonna negotiate with North Korea if Russia and China won't agree to the plan?" and Bolton was all, like, "Oh yeah they did agree to the plan" and Kerry was like "WTF, dude, I've got the papers in front of me, and they totally didn't!" and Bolton was like, "well, they showed up to the meeting, and that's pretty much like signing on to the plan". After a while, Kerry just stopped asking questions and just sighed heavily and rolled his eyes whenever Bolton said anything. Except when Bolton equated North Korea's walking out of the talks as equivalent to the imposition of sanctions, and you could see Kerry wishing that he had superpowers so he could be all, like "Kerry SMASH", and kill Bolton, and then it's like, hey - problem solved. The second most entertaining moment was when Sen. Dick Lugar (from the Hoosier state!) was directing the proceedings, and they kept getting interrupted by protestors. Apparently, someone is an even bigger geek than me, because it's on YouTube. Big time fun, I promise.
Click here for protest madness!
SOME ALL-INFOMERICAL CHANNEL: Did you know that the average person is carrying 20-40 pounds of unpassed feces in their gut? I didn't, until some dude on this infomercial told me! Jesus H. Christ! I try to be rational about these things, but this guy was saying that you should have 3 bowel movements a day, and if you don't, all that unpassed crap just sits in your colon and turns to cement. PLUS he had pictures of all these nasty black tube things that people had passed after their colon cleansing. I admit it - I ran to my bathroom mirror and looked at my stomach, trying to figure out exactly how many pounds of poo were keeping me from perfect health and vitality. This morning, I went to the Straight Dope, hoping that Uncle Cecil would protect me from from the charlatans and snake-oil salesmen, if, in fact, I was being lied to. BUT, while he doesn't say that colon cleansing is a good thing, he doesn't exactly say it hurts, either. Needless to say, I will be carefully monitoring this situation.
DISCOVERY CHANNEL:I really like Mike Rowe, the host of 'Dirty Jobs'. This is "Shark Week", and he was hanging out with a couple of South African grad students. This is a pretty good depiction of what science is like - messy, often discouraging, but fun, too. This is not what science is like. Apparently, Mr. Santorum feels that all scientists go to work in the morning hoping to have crafted their own evil army of the undead and/or laser death ray by the end of the day. Yeah - if only.
Anthony Bourdain is on tonight!! If you love this show as much as I do, check out the article he wrote for Salon.com. Evidently, he and his crew got trapped in Lebanon. I've been assiduously avoiding expressing a public opinion on this issue, and this is as close as I'm going to come to it.
CSPAN: Even before my cable situation turned to shite, I loved me some CSPAN. This weekend was mainly reruns of the Bolton confirmation hearings, and they were riveting. My favorite part was when the distinguished Sen. John Kerry was doing the questioning, and he was all, like, "how are you gonna negotiate with North Korea if Russia and China won't agree to the plan?" and Bolton was all, like, "Oh yeah they did agree to the plan" and Kerry was like "WTF, dude, I've got the papers in front of me, and they totally didn't!" and Bolton was like, "well, they showed up to the meeting, and that's pretty much like signing on to the plan". After a while, Kerry just stopped asking questions and just sighed heavily and rolled his eyes whenever Bolton said anything. Except when Bolton equated North Korea's walking out of the talks as equivalent to the imposition of sanctions, and you could see Kerry wishing that he had superpowers so he could be all, like "Kerry SMASH", and kill Bolton, and then it's like, hey - problem solved. The second most entertaining moment was when Sen. Dick Lugar (from the Hoosier state!) was directing the proceedings, and they kept getting interrupted by protestors. Apparently, someone is an even bigger geek than me, because it's on YouTube. Big time fun, I promise.
Click here for protest madness!
SOME ALL-INFOMERICAL CHANNEL: Did you know that the average person is carrying 20-40 pounds of unpassed feces in their gut? I didn't, until some dude on this infomercial told me! Jesus H. Christ! I try to be rational about these things, but this guy was saying that you should have 3 bowel movements a day, and if you don't, all that unpassed crap just sits in your colon and turns to cement. PLUS he had pictures of all these nasty black tube things that people had passed after their colon cleansing. I admit it - I ran to my bathroom mirror and looked at my stomach, trying to figure out exactly how many pounds of poo were keeping me from perfect health and vitality. This morning, I went to the Straight Dope, hoping that Uncle Cecil would protect me from from the charlatans and snake-oil salesmen, if, in fact, I was being lied to. BUT, while he doesn't say that colon cleansing is a good thing, he doesn't exactly say it hurts, either. Needless to say, I will be carefully monitoring this situation.
DISCOVERY CHANNEL:I really like Mike Rowe, the host of 'Dirty Jobs'. This is "Shark Week", and he was hanging out with a couple of South African grad students. This is a pretty good depiction of what science is like - messy, often discouraging, but fun, too. This is not what science is like. Apparently, Mr. Santorum feels that all scientists go to work in the morning hoping to have crafted their own evil army of the undead and/or laser death ray by the end of the day. Yeah - if only.
Anthony Bourdain is on tonight!! If you love this show as much as I do, check out the article he wrote for Salon.com. Evidently, he and his crew got trapped in Lebanon. I've been assiduously avoiding expressing a public opinion on this issue, and this is as close as I'm going to come to it.
posted by La Blonde Parisienne at 12:21 PM
4 Comments:
Wow, you did some serious watching, girl! I love your take on the Bolton hearings - I need to get a different perspective on those things. As for the colon thing - ewwwwwwwwwwww - but, hey, if I could lose 20 pounds that way, I'd be thrilled!
Now, don't tell my husband, but, I only watch Mike Rowe to fantasize about him. Yeah, I know, shame on me. But, I learn cool things. And Shark Week Rocks!
Here is to more happy viewing and the reviving of your laptop.
I saw that infomercial too! EWWWW! And I just want to point out that Straight Dope did say:
"At least 36 people were infected by a poorly designed machine used at a Colorado clinic in the late 70s; seven died."
Yuck. What a stupid way to die.
alexis: Oh yeah, next to the red-headed guy from "Mythbusters", Mike Rowe is totally my TV boyfriend.
Dr. BH: Yeah, but when you think about it, "contaminated colonic tube sepsis" has to be one of the less humiliating 70's-era deaths, especially when people were dying of "roller-disco heatstroke" and "orgy pile-up suffocation"
Hmmm, seems you and I will have to learn to share, heh
Post a Comment
<< Home